


Comfort Food for Beginners, Interlude: Come As You Are (Dean/Castiel)

by squeemonster



Series: Comfort Food [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-28
Updated: 2012-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-18 11:30:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/560573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squeemonster/pseuds/squeemonster





	Comfort Food for Beginners, Interlude: Come As You Are (Dean/Castiel)

**Title** :  Comfort Food for Beginners, Interlude:  Come As You Are  
 **Rating** :  R  
 **Pairing** :  Dean/Castiel  
 **Word Count** :  672  
 **Notes** :  Another interlude for my Comfort Food series. This series is not in chronological order, it's just different scenes from the lives of those in Team Free Will, focusing on the relationship between Dean and Cas. Set after the events of season six, Castiel is now fully human and hunting with the Winchesters. Many thanks to [](http://zatnikatel.livejournal.com/profile) **zatnikatel**  , who is just as much a writer of this interlude as I am. <3  
 **Summary** :  Cas wants to improve Dean's diet for more than his health.

 

 

 

"So, what kind of pizza are we getting tonight? Meat Feast or Extra Meat Feast?"

"I think we should get pineapple this time. And maybe less cheese."

"Uh, no, if I wanted fruit salad I'd order fruit salad, Cas."

"We should vary our routine a bit. It's not good to maintain the same diet every day."

"Okay fine, if you want rabbit food on your pizza then we can get you and Sam your own."

"No, Dean, I think you should get pineapple on your pizza, as well."

"Uh, no thanks, I'm good."

"Yes."

"Uhhh ... _no_."

" ... "

" ... "

"Please, Dean? You might be surprised to find you like it."

"Dude, _why_? Why the fuck won't you let this go?"

"Because I don't like the taste of your semen!"

"I ... wait, _what_?"

"Your semen, Dean. I find the taste foul and bitter. I've been researching the reasons why and how to make it easier for me to consume it. Sam pointed me in the direction of some websites and… Dean. Deep breaths. You're hyperventilating."

" _You talked to my brother about the taste of my jizz_?"

"Yes, but Dean. You don't suit that shade of red. Deep breaths."

" _YOU TALKED TO MY BROTHER ABOUT THE TASTE OF MY JIZZ_?!!??!!"

"Yes. And the best and easiest way to change it is to change your diet."

" ... "

" ... "

"Deep breaths, Dean."

"What, and _pineapple_ is supposed to make it taste all peachy?"

"No, I doubt even peaches could make it taste peachy—"

"Figure of speech, Cas."

"Pineapple _will_ make it sweeter, though, among other fruits."

"Is that why you made me stop at that watermelon stand the other day and practically forced the whole damn thing down my throat?"

"Yes, for that reason and also because watching the juices drip down your chin and throat was ... enjoyable."

"Alright, weirdo, so what else is on your list of shit to make me eat?"

"Well, there are other fruits, as well as certain vegetables, peppermint, lemon, cinnamon—"

"Hold up… cinnamon? Was that the reason you came home with that fireball whiskey and hid my beer?"

"Beer is one of the biggest enemies of sweet semen, Dean. It produces a bitter taste, as do coffee, red meat, and dairy products. Considering those are all the main staples of your diet, your semen is far from pleasant to swallow. If you don't believe me, you could try it yourself tonight. Assuming you can manage to produce a sufficient quantity."

" ... "

" ... "

"A sufficient fucking quantity? I shoot ropes of come. _Ropes._ Thick ones."

"The average male ejaculation contains 10cc of semen, Dean, and that's hardly ropes. It's a syringe-full."

" ... "

" ... "

"Deep breaths, Dean."

"What the fuck, Cas? Are you saying I only shoot a syringe at a time? That's bullshit. That's, like, a fucking flu shot. I shoot more than a fucking flu shot."

" ... "

" ... "

"Anyway, to get back to my point, changing your diet should—"

"Uh, no thanks. And I am not giving up red meat and cheese. Dude, it's _jizz_ , it's not supposed to taste like candy and rainbows!"

"That may be, but if your diet doesn't change soon, or at the very least if you don't add a few ingredients to it, I may have to stop pleasuring you orally."

"What about making it saltier instead of bitter? What if I ate a lot of salt, would that do anything to make it less bitter?"

"Your sodium intake is already alarming, Dean. I highly doubt increasing it even more will do anything but speed up your inevitable high blood pressure and heart disease. Besides, I'd prefer it to be sweet."

" ... "

" ... "

"Okay, _fine_. I'll try to eat some fruit every day. Make me a list of shit you want me to eat, and I'll do my best. But don't say I never fucking gave you anything."

"Ahaha, dude, don't make out like this is some selfless act. If you didn't agree to this then you wouldn't be getting anymore blowjobs."

"Shut the fuck up, Sam. I liked it better when you acted deaf and dumb during these talks."

 


End file.
